Anger at God
My first pregnancy, I came across a book, “supernatural childbirth” which is basically talking about getting pregnant, carrying the pregnancy, delivering the baby all without stress and complications.
It also discussed delivery without pain…this I was interested in because I always wondered if Eve was cursed in childbirth and Jesus came to liberate us from every curse, then we are not suppose to be experiencing pains or trouble in childbirth right? Whenever I spoke about this to people, they just gave me this blank stare, so I learnt to shut up and keep my opinions to myself.
Well…when I came across the book I devoured it, I believed it(to the best of my knowledge) and declared all the bible passages over myself and the baby. To be sure it works; I said I wanted the baby’s hair to be corkscrew curly.
Through my pregnancy, I had no morning sickness or complications. On the day of delivery, contractions started and there was little pain but it increased as the contractions built. I gave birth after two hours of contractions to a baby girl with very dark curly hair.
I was angry, angry at God, angry at the baby. While breastfeeding one day, I heard, “why are you angry?” I was angry I felt pain. “Why did you allow me feel pain after all my prayers and declarations?” I thought angrily. Then I remembered, yes there was pain but it wasn’t as bad as people said (maybe because I have high threshold for pain according to my family I don’t know), then the whole contraction/delivery was just two hours which was record time for a first timer, most importantly the baby was healthy and so was I.
When I remembered all these I realized how ungrateful I had being and I repented of it and thanked God for a supernatural delivery.
have you ever been angry at God? how did you know, what did you do? where you ready to let go of the anger or you felt justified?
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xoxo