Default Setting and Cakes
25th October was Samuel’s birthday and there was a cake for a snapshot with his schoolmates. We had leftover cake in the freezer.
My sweet tooth Tori was down with fever, so could care less about it. Nuggie decided to help out. She requested for a piece of cake almost every second. When I felt she had had enough, I said no… you will think that is the end of the story right? Think again!
Mummy I want cake…No
Mummy please give me cake…No
Mummy it’s Nuggie. She held my jaw and turned my face towards her. “It’s me, Nuggie. She said again. “You won’t give me? No. I replied.
She went away and came back some minutes later. She stuck her face right on mine, nose to nose and said. “Mummy won’t you give me cake? Laughing by now at her antics. No, I answered.
She sat on my back where I lay on the bed. Jumping up and down, Mummy I want cake. I ignored her and told her to come down but she curled on my back and kept chanting cake! Cake! I threw her on the bed and left them in my bedroom. I went to their room to read my book in peace because Samuel also discovered my hair is a good rope to swing with.
She came to the shut door. “Mum, what are you doing. Can I have cake?” I kept quiet and she thought I did not hear her due to the silence (Who knows what goes on in a two-year old child’s head).
She stood there and kept repeating it. It was no longer funny. The voice was grating on my nerves. I put on my best do not mess with momma face and said a firm, “No.” she stood looking at me with a pitiful expression for few seconds and went away. I was happy I did not cave in as I smiled to myself.
Later, I came out to go make dinner. I stepped into the sitting room, there she was in all her glory with the widest and most adorable smile. “Mummy can I have cake? Let’s say, I almost gave her the remaining cake in the fridge. to have my peace.
It brought that parable of Jesus, about the widow and the judge very close to home. I thought of times I gave up on things because I met resistance, I was too lazy to fight inner demons saying, no you can’t. Are you sure? Choosing easy way out rather than fight.
I have had countless ideas. I have forgotten most. The good, the wonky and the foolish or so I thought. The excuses, the giving up.
The prayer requests forgotten. Because I got tired of waiting, maybe it’s not God’s will. Maybe God does not want me to have it. The phrases that have been a default for so long, it’s now automatic.
I wonder… how many chunks of cake I have missed as I look at my two-year old munching away in contentment at her booty. I remembered a prayer I once read that used to be my mantra, now swept away under layers of maybe. “Lord give me the stubbornness of a seaweed and the tenacity of a bulldog.” Then I added a line of my own. “Help me not to change this default setting, my children came to earth with.”
What is your automatic setting? Factory or manual setting?
Whose setting are you also tweaking?
XOXO
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