LOVE OR OBLIGATION

Sunday, I had to withdraw money, so I decided to take a bike to the ATM machine, but I had no cash on me. I told the bike man,

“Take me to the ATM; but I don’t have cash on me, I will pay you when I withdraw, how much?”

I asked and he called an amount. The transport fare from where I was to the nearest machine was half of that.

“That is outrageous,” I exclaimed. “If I walk down to the road that money you are calling is not possible and you know it.”

“Do you have the money?”  He asked.

I was shocked for a second into silence at the audacity. Then I started laughing. He was primed ready, thinking I was going to take offence. I only climbed the bike and shelved the idea of haggling price. I discovered that is what happens when you show people your hand, he knew because I told him and he used it against me. I do not need to convince him I have money, had I kept quiet and told him to wait for me at the ATM, and then pay afterwards; he would not have used it against me. So, I was not angry because he was my lesson teacher.

I climbed the bike and got to the machine, slotted in my card and immediately it popped back out, what happened? My card has expired!

If I were a dramatic person I am sure I would have shouted with my hands on my head Ori mi o! but I settled for a soft exclamation “Ha!” as I imagined oga bike man telling me the story of my life.

Going back home with the bike man to collect money from someone to pay was not an option because I was the only one around; hubby travelled and the children too are away on holiday, my mind went blank.

Then I heard “there is money in your bag.” I had completely forgotten I had my tithe in my bag, I had carried it from home to pay in church but I was unable to do that. I did not consider it mine anymore so I forgot about it.

“God this is your money, I am sorry but I have to use it because right now I am stranded…please do not be angry. I pleaded with God as I went back to pay the bike man.

“Ha! You don collect sharp sharp? The man asked.

“No, here is your money,” I said as I paid him off, all these happened within fifteen seconds.

As I crossed over to the other lane; I heard “Ufedo, do you think I love the tithe so much that I will prefer you be stranded on the road rather than you using it?”

I had not seen it that way but that was exactly what I thought.  I was practicing religion and forgot God is more about love and me than what I had to give. My tithe can only work when I realize I am not using it to buy God’s gift and love or as a religious obligation.

I am still learning and understanding the love of God. I was humbled as God showed me how I saw him and I told God sorry, for thinking and believing he was angry with me with me hence my plea before using the money and averting more embarrassment from the loquacious bike man. I also thanked him for this love so deep that I have not and cannot fully fathom

He loves me more, he is more interested in me, he doesn’t want me hurt or embarrassed, he’s not hanging over my head waiting for me to fail so he can do me in, I matter most.

What does God’s love mean to you?

What have you discovered about it?

XOXO