Right Question?

My daughter comes back home from school informing me her teacher left her in class while others went out to play.

I asked her, “what did you do?” She said she didn’t finish her food.

On another occasion Nugie came back from an outing to report that she was denied a treat and I asked again “what did you do?”

I thought that was the best or fair way to ask whenever something happens to them which wont make me biased.

While asking “what did you do?” the question kept echoing over and over in my head and I realized I was inadvertently passing across the message that it had to be their fault bad things happen to them, or they may have done something to warrant people’s actions towards them (which is not always true).

It may end up coloring their view of life, even of God – maybe I didn’t pray, fast e.t.c enough(as if it’s up to what we do) that’s why my prayers are not answered.

I think that’s what was thought and it’s been passed down to the next generation…someone is being abused by a boss,spouse,neighbor, or even family and you ask “what did you do?”

Am already weaning myself off “what did you do,” I think “what happened” is better but I need constructive phrases… Any ideas?

xoxo