Seasons and Time

I met Stephanie Adejoke Henry during my NYSC days at Bayelsa, in NCCF family house. What attracted me (and everyone else) to her was her diction, intelligence and friendliness… she was in charge of publicity and still does MC duties, in case you are anywhere within(or outside) Abuja and it’s environs and you need someone to make your occasion an occasion (pun so intended), she is readily available…

She was a batch ahead of me and we lost touch after she left, I do see her on Facebook but suddenly, it was as if she dropped off the face of the earth… I thought nothing of it until I saw her story… The devil had been busy but as we all know he is only like a roaring lion and not a lion.

I wanted to do a question and answer like the previous one but I did not want to halt the flow, so I just let her say it as is; here goes… be blessed and encouraged:

Marriage…

Every young lady looks forward to marriage with her prince charming. After the knot is tied, the fruit of the womb is the next thing to look forward to, our case wasn’t different… I had married God’s best for me as far as I was concerned

Pregnancy and delivery…

We were newlyweds and our first child was coming in the months ahead. Everyday my husband and I prayed for only two things speed and ease. We had heard stories of first timers having prolonged deliveries and We wanted to be freed from that agony, God answered.

My labor pains were not unduly prolonged. However, things took a turn as the baby’s head came out and shoulders couldn’t. I overheard the two midwives saying “shoulder” “cut” “bilateral”, next thing I knew was the snipping of the “scissors” in my private area both ways. I took the pain in and still cannot explain how till now. My baby was eventually brought out and I was to be sewed back.

 It was at that point the midwife realized she had cut me very deeply. She kept saying “madam please let me sew this, so your husband doesn’t arrest me” I just thought she was joking. I was given anesthesia but the suturing took so long that it kept wearing off.

I had to bear the pain like that. This went on for over an hour. When I realized that I was losing blood and consciousness. I weakly said “please ma, l can’t take it anymore, let me go”, that was when she allowed me be; I was just packaged and carried to a bed. My newborn had not even fed up till that time. A few hours later, I was given some drugs, told to do my sitz bath for my episiotomy and we were discharged. It was a private hospital.

Complication…

Two weeks after I kept doing my sitz bath and but I couldn’t walk well, couldn’t sit, stand or lie well. I was always sharing my concerns with my hubby who always assures me I would be fine, that it was because it was my first time.

A month went by and we were playing with our new-born one evening when I perceived a very terrible stench, I asked my hubby if he farted, he said no, I checked my baby for poop and found none and we concluded she was the one who farted. But after a while, I went to use the bathroom and to my shock and dismay discovered I was the one who was stinking that way.I ran and informed my hubby but he didn’t understand why. We then agreed that I should go back to the hospital to complain and also complain about the episiotomy that wasn’t healing in any way.

The next day I was there and they said the wound was “septic” and blamed me for not being hygienic enough. The wound was cleaned, the smell condemned, new antibiotics given and I was sent home again.

The Wilderness Season…

Four weeks became 8 weeks. By now the lochea had become dark brown and I was stinking like a dung hill filled with dead rats. The discharge never stopped for a second, the wound didn’t heal and the flesh tore away from the sewing and was just hanging down. My husband and I became confused. He promised once the ordeal was over, we would not try for other children. I was in so much pain and emotional trauma and he was hurt because he could do nothing to help me.

I had to go everywhere with my husband because he had to tell me when to change pads since my nose was not as sensitive as when the ordeal started… whenever we are out and he says “Baby, it’s time.” I already knew what to do.

Two months became three; at this point we had to open up to our parents who were surprised. Both our mothers said it was unusual to still be discharging lochea not to talk of very smelly one.My maternity leave was still counting, so I decided to leave Kaduna where I was spending it with my hubby to come back to Abuja my work station and see other doctors.

In Abuja I did different scans. Some scans said I had klebsiela pneumonea, another showed hormonal imbalance. Somehow I knew it wasn’t true. I read about the conditions and saw they were at variance with my condition and I noticed that whenever I took the drugs prescribed for the conditions, I felt my heart palpitating abnormally. I decided to stop and face God. Many nights my husband cried and prayed for me. He fasted, he believed. At this point, I’d made up my mind to die, because I couldn’t understand why I would be bleeding and stinking for 5 months.

I’d been seen by specialists, I’d been examined, scanned and nothing was found but I kept discharging blood and smelling.

One night after several weeks of prayers, my husband and I were bathing in our bathroom. When I looked at the filth coming out of me, I said to him “Jyde look at this thing” my husband replied, “whatever has a beginning has an end, I saw the beginning of this blood and I will see the end, I will not give up” it was the determination in his voice that got me. I saw anger too at a strange thing that was consuming all our finances.

The following morning my hubby went back to Kaduna after spending the weekend with us and I went to my workplace. I remember an incident among many while at work, I had not changed within the hour I was supposed to, when the permanent secretary of the ministry of justice where I worked then came to see my direct boss and they were asking if there was a dead rat in the office and everybody looked for where the dead rat was hiding but could not find it… I knew what’s up, so I kept quiet and immediately they left, I went to change.

Light…?

Later that Monday in September, my cousin a doctor whom I’d told about my condition suddenly called me and told me to come to National Hospital to be seen by a senior colleague. I took permission and hurried down…

I lay again on another examination table wondering what would come up again.As the gynecologist dipped in to examine my pelvis, he said to my cousin, “I can feel something “. I didn’t know if to jump down from the examination table and run away or be relieved that finally a solution was imminent.

He then said “my only worry is the extent of damage that has been done to the womb”. Eventually he dipped in again and brought out a rotten sanitary towel. It was at that point I remembered the midwife at my delivery had used a brand new Dr Browns’ pad to control the blood flow so she could sew my episiotomy, but the bleeding was so much that the pad was soaked up and she sewed it up. That was 6months after.

Breakthrough…

God prevailed. He gave me victory. Treatment commenced and I became well again. The episiotomy eventually healed and intercourse resumed after almost a year but I was told my chance of conception again was very slim as my Fallopian tubes had been affected by the error of the midwife…

I wept and wept. When I told my hubby he just said “whose report will you believe?” and that was it, we never talked about it again. 7 months later, I discovered I was pregnant again. We went to do a scan and I was told there was fibroid too, I told my hubby and he said “you don’t have it”. Truly my next scan showed I didn’t have it.

The delivery was tough but my hubby stood by me, he was in the labor room, praying till I was able to push my second child out.

We have another son now, and his delivery was the easiest, cheapest, smoothest and issue free. God compensated me for all my troubles with my third child.

Final words…

The journey was not funny nor easy, I had moments I felt like giving up and emotionally drained… but that season brought my husband and I closer and it also drew us closer to God… I do not want to go through something like that again but I will not trade all I learnt from that period…

If you are going through anything and it seems like there is no hope, ask God what do I need to learn from this experience? show me…

Most importantly, it may not look or feel like it but God loves you.

PS: What more can I add to that, than thank God for God’s grace… if you have any testimony(there is no big or small testimony) you can forward to memoirsywm@gmail.com and you may have just saved a life.

XOXO