Virginity.

I just came across this poem in my archive. I wrote it as a young girl who was struggling to hold on amidst temptation and trials. Looking back now, it took the grace of God. it’s so easy to give in and let all be damned. but the wait is worth it at the end of the day. Let me save this here for my children; for them to know the battle has been raging, it’s nothing new. You either surrender or you fight to win.

Here goes:

My pride! Or is it?

Someone walked away with it or did they?

Don’t think am crazy, or am I?

Someone wants to walk away with it and am not sure anymore

That is what has been drummed into me

As a child, a teenager, a woman

Now I have to make up stories to cover the truth

A truth that I should have strutted about with

Like a peacock with the telling

Envied among those whom theirs were carried

carried away in a plastic bag or gave it away in a nylon bag

Now it’s hidden behind false tales and smiles

Inside a seething mass of confusion and temptation

Do I or do I not?

I so want to give it bare

On luxurious feathers

Cool cool sheets

Crimson so crimson with pride

And as I see it, my mind’s eye

Only two, genuine two

Remain two and closer two

As each day or is it week?

Brings another flavor or is it taste?

And then settles into something sweet and comfortable

But no!

They pulls me, they drag me

To give it away in a plastic bag,

Even mine has joined the pull

What happened?

You too?

But the content answers the shell;

Push all you can

I won’t settle

Lumps for feathers?

Crimson shame? for crimson pride?

Oh no

No! no!

Lord am I the only one left?

Where are others?

I see the light and it’s so…

Hmmm!

What happened to crimson pride?